A recent Vox Pop on iVillage shows that 58% of women polled said they would take his name and a massive 23% were undecided.
The Vox Pop didn’t address the issue of second time marriages although one witty respondent said her mother, who had married five times, only stopped changing her name after the third time. Another respondent remarked she already had a child who used her maiden name and was moreover not happy with the combination of her first name and his second name, but she still said she would take the plunge.
Yet another respondent told of her groom who possessed a hyphenated name. After many discussions the best she could get was for him to include a version of her name, but he was not prepared to give up anything of his!
While women are still largely in favour of adopting their new husband’s name, the same cannot be said of the men looking favourably on their wife’s name. Emma Scott, a consultant with a major accountancy firm in Dublin, decided on a compromise. She kept her maiden name for work where she was already well known and hoped to secure a partnership in the near future. For all other elements she gradually slipped into her new married name; first her passport needed renewing, then her credit cards were changed, then along came two children and her name at school also changed. This was fine, according to Emma, except for occasional confusions when it came to introduce herself or signing documents.
“Often I would speak with some one and have to use both names before I could readily identify myself. Or if I was asked to sign a form at work or home I’d have to think about which name I was using.
“Funnily enough, my husband got the reverse treatment. At a number of work social outings, he was called by my name. He did not find this so funny but I have to admit I found it hilarious! If I were to do it again, however, I think I’d just stick to my own name, period. It’s too confusing and my signature is gone to pot!”
Or perhaps the Spanish have the best solution. When a child is born, he or she is given both parents names and this is their name for life, regardless of martial status. It would certainly reduce the time spent recreating signatures for new brides!
What is your opinion?
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